Adventures of Motherhood

Weird:

-- Paying for gas in the store. Do you really have to take the kid in just to pay for gas if you can't pay at the pump?

-- Eating at a buffet by yourself with the little fella. I had to take him up to the buffet with me every time I needed something.

-- Deciding if a restaurant I've been to several times is "kid-friendly." I've never had to contemplate that before.
(What is the general consensus about taking a baby to a restaurant and bar? The "and bar" part is a little tricky. Last night, we ate at Six Feet Under but were seated in the bar section of the restaurant. I don't know how I feel about this.)


Wonderful:

-- You can have a standing lunch date with a handsome young man. One that coos when you smile at him.

-- Cuddling in the mornings with your sleeping buddy.

-- Listening to him talk to his favorite toy, Mr. Owl.

-- First Easter Baskets full of... pacifiers?

-- Watching your stud-muffin husband talk to the mini, less hairy version of himself.

Here's to... Tuesday!

 

("Whatchoo talkin' 'bout?") 

Wrote this in my head on my morning drive:

• Glorious victory: reaching your hand stealthily into a dark closet and immediately finding the item of clothing you were hoping to find. Without waking your sleeping baby and husband.
• I like to use my husband's manly smelling body wash more than my own girly one.
• I'm wearing a pair of my non-pregnant pants today (that are in my pre-pregnancy size). A small victory. So disregard my muffin-top and the clearly visible dimples in my butt because of their tightness. That cellulite is temporary. I will prevail.
• It took a shoe-horn, elbow grease, and a lot of willpower to get into said pants. 
• Said pants are linen. I am also wearing sandals. Yes, before Easter. It's going to be 86 degrees today. Get at me, fashion rules.
• I feel like an older, sophisticated world traveler lady today. Leather Tevas, linen pants, white button-up shirt. Next stop: leather fanny pack!
• I have turned into my mom. I ironed my clothes this morning in my undies. I never iron. And my mom always irons in her undies and hopes nobody catches her unawares. I am an adult. At least I wasn't wearing my undies AND socks at that point. 
• There is absolutely nothing more astonishing, awesome, and satisfying than listening to your baby "talk" to you while you're lying there beside him. Or when he wakes up in the morning, sees you, and smiles. Melt my heart, little friend. Melt my heart.

Two Months!

Dinosaur Onesie created by Margaret Quiggle Grantham.

But I Want to be a Mama...

I was informed today that my employers will need me to work in the office full-time when I return to work on March 1st. I had asked before I left in December if it would be possible for me to work 30 hours (instead of 40 hours) and if I could work at home everyday except Fridays when Zeb could keep Finn for me to go into the office.

I knew it was a stretch, but they wouldn't confirm one way or another. Until today.

If I worked 40 hours in the office per week, I'd have to put Finn into daycare four days a week. The cost of daycare, coupled with the cost of gas I'd pay per month, would leave us with very little income left over. Not to mention, I'd be an hour and a half away from the little fella. Overall, an 8-hour work day turns into 11 hours that I would be away from him everyday (with the hour and a half commute each way).

The thought of spending most of Finn's first year away from him is absolutely heartbreaking. I have always wanted to be a mother. The fact that money might inhibit the gift of motherhood and the ability to witness all of my child's firsts is completely paralyzing.

First Smiles

Finn smiled (an undeniable, it's-not-just-gas) smile and giggle-coo'd at me for the first time this morning. What an amazingly simple bucket o' joy that was for me.

"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow
For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs.
Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep."
                   -- Anonymous

However, one should clean and scrub one's body regularly. Not easy to do with a wee bairn.

Quick! He fell asleep! Go take a shower, Lauren! 

*The above photo is not documentation of the "real" smiles from this morning. Pretty sure this one was just a "tootie" smile.

One Month Old Today!

Little Finn McCool is one month old today!

He:

• is getting more red-headed everyday!
• loves "tummy time" and can hold his head up and look around for a couple of minutes at a time.
• loves to swing!
• toots. A lot.
• wakes up every four hours during the night to eat, but...
• during the day he eats every two hours and is still hungry!
• loves to kick his legs while we change his diaper.
• has major diaper blow-outs about once a day.
• wears an average of 4 or 5 outfits a day because of said blow-outs and diapers springing a leak.
• loves to snuggle with Daddy in the mornings and on the couch.
• weighs about 10.5 pounds.
• has his mama's ears, God bless him.
• is super curious by any funny sounds we make.
• is not a big fan of photo shoots.
• likes warm baths.
• is asleep in my lap right now.

Realizations of a New Mother: Episode II

-- I'm getting kinda good at typing with one hand while holding Finn with the other.

-- Sometimes Finn sleeps with his eyes open and keeps them closed when he's wide awake.

-- Throughout most of my life, I never really believed in soulmates. Then I met Zeb, and everything clicked so easily and comfortably with him that I became a believer. But I really think that a mother's truest soulmates are her children while they're young. There is absolutely no satisfaction or joy greater than realizing that your newborn is comforted the most by your presence -- that he listens and watches for you to enter the room.

-- Bar none, the most awkward stage of attire throughout the whole pregnancy process is RIGHT NOW for me. Maternity pants fall down; regular jeans don't fit. I mean, yoga pants are fine until you want to look even relatively attractive/cool. Even tops don't fit over my boobs since I'm breastfeeding. I don't want to buy new clothes for this awkward stage because, gosh darn it, I don't plan on being here long.

-- This has been my best birthday ever. I've hung out and played with Finn all day, and now we're all going to my favorite restaurant in Carrollton for dinner. 30 is looking reeeeal good so far.