Monday, February 20, 2012

But I Want to be a Mama...

I was informed today that my employers will need me to work in the office full-time when I return to work on March 1st. I had asked before I left in December if it would be possible for me to work 30 hours (instead of 40 hours) and if I could work at home everyday except Fridays when Zeb could keep Finn for me to go into the office.

I knew it was a stretch, but they wouldn't confirm one way or another. Until today.

If I worked 40 hours in the office per week, I'd have to put Finn into daycare four days a week. The cost of daycare, coupled with the cost of gas I'd pay per month, would leave us with very little income left over. Not to mention, I'd be an hour and a half away from the little fella. Overall, an 8-hour work day turns into 11 hours that I would be away from him everyday (with the hour and a half commute each way).

The thought of spending most of Finn's first year away from him is absolutely heartbreaking. I have always wanted to be a mother. The fact that money might inhibit the gift of motherhood and the ability to witness all of my child's firsts is completely paralyzing.

2 comments:

  1. Hey Lauren, it's Mel Meere. Cant believe you have to go back to work so soon :( i have the time off till September, but am contemplating a return this may and that was only if our finances required it. Finn is beautiful, it was one of thenames we were deciding on if Emily was a boy! Hope you're doing well, it's so crazy how these little critters come into your life and now, you dont know how you lived without them! Love your blog, keep it up. It keeps me entertained at silly o'clock :) If you're ever in Oz - make sure to stop by Canberra and Finn and Emmy can have a little play date!

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  2. Dude, seriously. I think we should consider a cross-continental love match between our two kids. They could get married and be called Fimily. (Yes, I went there.)

    As for going back to work -- it blows. Maternity leave here in the US is awful. The law only requires that we get up to 12 weeks' (unpaid) time off. But I just gave my employer my notice. One month of full-time left and then I'm done. April 6th. Not entirely sure how we're going to make it financially, but I have to have faith that something will work out.

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